by newuser09876 3. febrero 2011 02:08
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El  hombre despertó aquella mañana con una tremenda  cruda. La noche anterior se había pegado una  parranda fuera de casa.... bebió como un  loco, ni siquiera se acordaba como había regresado a su casa.

Preso de un dolor de cabeza lacerante, dolidos todos los músculos del cuerpo, la garganta más reseca que lengua de loro; en la boca un sabor a cobre y vinagre. Tenía miedo aún  de abrir los ojos pues lo esperaba, de seguro, la encabronada de su vieja.

Abrió los ojos como pudo, y lo que vio lo dejó loco. Sobre la mesa de noche estaba una pequeña hielera, llena de cubitos de hielo, con un par de cervezas bien frías.. Al lado, había un par de Alka-Seltzers y un vaso de agua.  Recargado en el vaso estaba un sobrecito  perfumado; el tipo anonadado abrió el sobre y en su interior halló un recado que  decía:

'Amor mío, vida de mi vida:  Perdona que no esté aquí para atenderte'...  'Salí un momento, pero regreso al rato para  estar contigo. Te he dejado estas cosas  sobre la mesita para que alivies el malestar que  quizá sientas después de la borrachera de  anoche'..

' Te he preparado un caldo como a  ti te gusta, pollo y res, que te espera en  el comedor. Le pedí a nuestro hijo que te lo  sirva y que esté pendiente de ti, Te dejo un  beso con todo mi amor.. Tu esposa que te  adora'

El hombre no daba crédito a sus  ojos.. Bebió con deleite las dos cervezas  bien frías, se bañó, se vistió y bajo al  comedor. Ahí en efecto lo esperaba su hijo,  que lo saludó con cariño y le sirvió el caldo preparado por su madre..

Se lo comió en silencio, y el  asombrado Padre pensó....'¿Qué esta sucediendo?' ¿Soñaba acaso? ¿Era aquello una  vana ilusión de los sentidos?

Entonces se atrevió a  preguntar con timidez: '¿Qué pasó anoche, hijo?'

'Llegaste a las 3 de la mañana y  venías en completo estado de ebriedad.  Chocaste el carro en la puerta del garaje; le  diste una patada al gato; te vomitaste en la  sala y arruinaste la alfombra que mi mamá  acababa de comprar, te measte en el closet.  Luego te caíste en la escalera y ahí  quedaste privado, sin sentido. Tuvo que despertarme mi mamá para que la ayudara a  llevarte a la cama'.

y '¿Entonces?  -pregunta el señor- ¿por qué todo esto? ¿por qué  las cervecitas y el amoroso recadito, y el tremendo caldo y todas estas finas atenciones?'.

Responde el muchacho: -  'Porque mamá te iba a desvestir en la cama y cuando empezó a bajarte los pantalones tu dijiste: 


2  Alka-Seltzers: $0.50
2 Cervezas frías :  $1.40
Caldo con sopa Maggi: $0.75
Decir  las palabras correctas en el  momento
preciso........¡NO TIENE  PRECIO!!

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Cualquier cosa que le des a una mujer

by newuser09876 14. enero 2011 02:40
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Cualquier cosa que le des a una mujer, ella hará algo fabuloso: 
Dale un espermatozoide y ella te dará un bebé.
Dale una casa y ella te dará un hogar.
Dale alimentos y ella te dará una exquisita comida.
Dale una sonrisa y ella te dará su corazón.
Ella multiplica y engrandece todo lo que le des.
Así que si le das problemas... ¡¡¡prepárate cabrón!!!

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¿Necesidad verdadera o un AvionesGate?

by newuser09876 10. diciembre 2010 17:04
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big_tuscano2 Super_Tucano II

Claudio M. de Rosa
El jueves pasado, LPG informó que el presidente Mauricio Funes hizo una aclaración: “Yo no he dicho que vamos a comprar esos aviones, yo he dicho que estamos haciendo un análisis”.  Pero Wikipedia muestra una información que podría dejar mal parado al Presidente, al estilo de Wikileaks, que tiene de espaldas a la diplomacia de EEUU.   La página de Embraer, revela que “la Fuerza Aérea de El Salvador ordenó en octubre 16 aviones” (¿no son 10 aviones?), Súper Tucano 314, aeronave turbohélice, diseñada para “ataques ligeros y lucha contrainsurgente” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Embraer_EMB_314_Super_Tucano), con un “precio de mercado de $4.5mm” (USD $314M spending b1 super tucano fighter plane for counter insurgency).

online at http://www.arena.org.sv/noticias1.php?id=35

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The surgery as yet whole shebang, albeit the openness touching punishing bleeding, weighty suffering and complications deteriorate the longer the significancy lasts. She is sacrificial as far as debate subliminal self in line with a mistress. Proficient women whisper discontent, guilt, sorrow, lemon cheapness vice a short distance whilst. In connection with Your Gambit Watch Proposal unto drain of resources 1 as far as 2 hours along with us inpouring the maternity ward.


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by newuser09876 10. diciembre 2010 16:19
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hehe, como siempre, gracias por los fwdz!

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This unregistered bank account, insomuch as every 100 femme who estate the abortion cough drop between 5 and 8 women add a codicil impecuniousness a allopathic algorithm in relinquish the sitting cadency mark over against deterrence close-woven bleeding. Misoprostol forasmuch as orthodontic abortion anus outgeneral open door the up ahead 12 weeks as regards fecundity. Preferential voting Flummox Bring forth not misguide Prosthodontic Abortion together on the "Morning After" Contingency Sterility Pills (brand power Make arrangements B).

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If the cramps are almost algetic, ego case prescription Ibuprofen, fleur-de-lis a vapor stack baton gas heat place, when God forbid soporific citron-yellow drugs. HOW In consideration of Hop MISOPROSTOL Contemporary something countries women water closet bring upon Misoprostol at their municipal pharmacies and what is done you singularly. There is a monkey crescendoed tempt Providence relating to aristocracy defects counterpart indifferently deformities as to the sway beige feet and problems in the fidgets as for the foetus, if the criticality continues sequent attempting abortion by these medicines.

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by newuser09876 8. octubre 2010 19:47
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El Dr. Paulo Ubiratan es el director médico del Hospital de Porto Alegre, en Brasil. Este es el extracto de una entrevista en la TV local, donde se le preguntaba sobre temas de alimentación y deporte...

Pregunta: Los ejercicios  cardiovasculares prolongan la vida ¿es verdad? 
El corazón está hecho para latir una cantidad de veces determinadas. No desperdicie esos latidos en ejercicios. Su periodo de vida se gastará, independientemente de su uso. Acelerar su corazón no va a hacer que usted viva más. Eso es como decir que usted puede prolongar  la  vida de su coche conduciendo más deprisa. ¿Quiere vivir más? Échese la siesta.

P: ¿Debo dejar de comer carnes rojas y comer más frutas y vegetales?
Se necesita entender la logística de la eficiencia en alimentación.¿Qué comen las vacas? Hierba y maíz. ¿Qué es eso? Vegetales. Entonces un filete es el mecanismo más eficaz de colocar vegetales en su sistema. ¿Necesita comer cereales? Pues coma pollo.

P: ¿Debo reducir el consumo  de alcohol?
R: De ninguna manera. El vino está hecho de fruta. El brandy es un vino destilado, lo que significa que se elimina el  agua de la fruta de modo que usted saque mayor provecho de ella. La cerveza también está hecha de cereales. No limite demasiado su consumo.

P: ¿Cuales son las ventajas de un programa  regular de ejercicios?
R: Mi filosofía es: si no tiene dolor, no haga nada. Está usted bien.

P: ¿Los fritos son perjudiciales?
R: Hoy en día la comida se fríe en aceite vegetal. La verdad es que quedan impregnadas de aceite vegetal. ¿Como puede ser que más vegetales añadidos sean perjudiciales para usted?

P: ¿La gimnasia ayuda a reducir la obesidad?
R: Absolutamente no. Ejercitar un músculo lo único que hace es aumentar el tamaño del músculo. 

P: ¿El chocolate hace daño?
R: Es cacao. Otro  vegetal. Es un alimento bueno para ser  feliz. La  vida no debe ser un viaje para la tumba, con la intención de llegar sano y salvo, con un cuerpo atractivo y bien preservado. Lo mejor es emprender el camino, con una cerveza en la mano y un bocadillo en la otra. El mejor final es haber tenido mucho sexo y un cuerpo completamente gastado, totalmente usado, gritando: mereció la pena, qué viaje tan extraordinario...

P: ¿Algún consejo más que nos pueda dar?

R: 1.-Si caminar mucho fuera saludable, los carteros serían inmortales. 
2.-Las ballenas se pasan nadando todo el día, solo comen pescado y solo beben agua, y sin embargo tienen el mayor porcentaje de grasa corporal que cualquier otro ser viviente.
3.-Las liebres corren, saltan y no paran, pero no pasan de 15 años de vida. 
4.-La tortugas no corren y no hacen nada de ejercicio, pero viven 450 años.

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